Well Damn...where do I start? New Years? It was very uneventful. Molly (my roomate), Webb, and I spent it sitting around and decorating the new apartment. (Still on campus) and by the time we looked at the clock, it was about 12:30, so bummer there...and no booty.

School is good I guess, I'm about in the same boat as Whitty, missed a lot of class last semester, so I'm working my ass off this semester to make up for it...Made the mistake of saying," hey, I'm in college, I should be having fun." Ended up having too much fun.

Around October, Webb called me and told me he was moving up to Natchitoches to live with me...we had gotten pretty serious with me being gone and staying away from Damien, but coming home to see Webb on the weekends, so I guess you could say, I'm in another serious relationship. Damien knows about it and I guess he's over the initial shock...not that he can say anything because he's living with some girl that he doesn't even like...she has a 2 year old daughter and I'm inclined to say that he cares more for the child than the girl he's dating...he really upsets me because although I don't see him often, he still tells me that he loves me and tries to kiss me when I do get a chance to see him. It wouldn't be a problem, if I wasn't still in love with him...but I really think that I am. When I don't see him or talk to him for a while...my life is all about Webb, although we don't really get along that well about 80% of the time, but all Damien has to do is just call to say, tell me Happy Birthday, and I'm taken by him all over again. In fact, I'm sitting home right now because I have a doctors appointment, and I've already gone to see Damien and work, and waiting for him to get here. I'm not quite sure what to do about this. Webb tells me how much he loves me and how he wants to be with me forever, and he's so amazingly wonderful that it makes me sick sometimes...which is why we don't really get along...I'm not used to that, but Damien is still my weakness, and I can honestly say that all he would have to do was give me the smallest hint that he wanted us to get back together and 3 hour difference or not, I would probably jump back in his arms. I love Webb, I really do...but I miss Damien. It's been almost a year since we broke up...this isn't supposed to last this long.

For the last week or so, I've been having horrible nose bleeds. In fact, thats why I'm going to the doctor tomorrow. I had never had a nose bleed in my life, and then all of a sudden, boom. like a faucet...it's scary, so I'm gunna go get that shit checked out.

Feb. 23rd will be a year since my Paw Paw died...It doesn't seem like it's been that long...I went the other day and got his formal signature tattooed on my back. My mom cried when she saw it, I cried the entire time it was being done...not because it hurt...it didn't, but because I miss him more than ever now. I'm 20 years old, officially an adult, I'm in college and he'e not here to see it. Damien called about a month ago and told me that he had been thinking about my Grandma, and my Mom, so he went and sat for a long time at my Paw Paw's grave and talked to him...Paw loved Damien, and Paw didn't even LIKE many people...that in itself has me thinking.

My brother and Tysie are almost through the divorce and it's getting pretty nasty...they barely talk and Greg works so much that he hardly gets to see my niece. He gets her about 2 days out of the month and brings her to Texas with him. She's here now, asleep on the couch and I hadn't seen her since before Christmas until tonight. Tysie won't return my phonecalls.

Mom and Mr. Pat are engaged...not planning a wedding for anytime soon, but nonetheless, engaged. I'm cool with that, they seem happy...she's raised all of her kids and they are all out of the house...it's time for her to live her life. My Dad and Eric are still in Texas, I went that way for Christmas Day and I try to go about once a month, but thats a 6 hour drive and college is hell.

I failed my driving test like 3 times, Mama...don't feel bad, they give you trick questions!
Whitty! Awesome about the Italian! You'll have to teach me something

Well My girls...thats whats been goin on this way...I need to go get in the shower, but I promise to get my ass on here and write more often.

Love Love Love
Deborah

I was all alone for New Years - and pissed as hell at Justin. We had a huge fight, I screamed and cried with my parents, curled up in my room to cry some more, talked to Justin on the phone and felt (marginally) better. I wanted to spend it with him. I thought I had a guarantee, but he wanted to be with his friends and they were going to do stuff I didn't want to do. Which reminds me to say: I smoked pot. Once. With Justin, Alan, Aaron (still a girl) and Nathan. I did it for him, I'm never doing it again and I've been sick ever since (this was almost 2 weeks ago) So much for medicinal marijuana, huh? I'm not crying.

Oh and Justin and I are still in dinky old Whitewater. Milwaukee is still in the cards (his lease comes up in March) but everything, and I mean *everything* keeps changing or just going plain wrong. I'll let you guys know when everything happens, some way or another (we're freakishly techy people)

I failed my drivers test today. Hug me lots and tell me that driving is *HARD* (even if you have to lie through your teeth) And Whitney? Oh Whitney Whitney Whitney, I know so much what you mean about being overwhelmed by all of the things to say. So many things you haven't said, so many things you can't say without saying something else first... I hate it when you can't just *say it* I want to *vent* I don't want to explain for 20 minutes and *then* vent, it just takes- it kills it.

Wow. The 26th. 3 months and I'm 22. Dear god, that's depressing.

You know, if I didn't have Justin - and I've honestly thought about this - I'd probably move down to Tennessee with you, Whit. No more evil Illinois between us. God, wouldn't that be nice. Good friends are so underrated.

Snow is highly *overrated* Especially by my spastic dog. He's enjoying jumping into snow drifts 3 times his height (and dragging me along with him) We've had pretty much non-stop snow for a month or two. It melts a bit and snows again, melts a bit and snows. Then it goes buck wild and snows for 2 or 3 days straight and leaves us with a foot or so of white crap to wade through.

Oh, but we did go sledding. Once. And I will explain why it was once and only once and never ever again. Justin convinced me to go down the Dangerous Hill (his words) and at the very bottom we hit a bump and I flew off. Justin somehow managed to be just fine (little bastard) I landed on a wooden step, *just* a wooden step so it was like someone took a tree trunk and slammed it across my back *then* I landed on the lake. *smack* back. *smack* head. I was broken for 2 weeks. I never went to see a doctor (I felt like such a wimp) but my dad thinks I bruised a few ribs. I couldn't lift my arms (or use my arms *to* lift things) without an incredible amount of pain, I couldn't breathe properly, I'd go into coughing fits... It was bad. I feel like I can say that with you guys, it was really fucking bad. I never knew how much crap depended on me having a good back until mine was shot. I was almost in tears just trying to make my bed - you know how you fluff out the blankets? Death, death and pain. No more sledding for me.

But Bailey had fun. *Shit-loads* of fun. He was just running all over the hill, chasing people down - he even tried to get in somebody's van. He was just bopping around next to all their stuff while they were loading up, all 'Take me! Take me!' We even tied the sled to his collar and he'd pull it back up the hill. Freaked him out a bit at first, that something was following him, but he loved it. He *dragged* Justin back up the hill. I heard someone say, 'That's such a good idea! Why didn't I think of that?' He's a good sled/hunting/herding/crazy ass dog. And lap dog. He's way too big for your lap, but he has no idea. He'll just jump in the chair with you and curl up, it's so adorable.

I'm in love with my puppy. I'm so spastic and proud of him, he's a good little puppy.

Funny story: the other day I was sitting in my kitchen on the computer and the front door opens. I look up and it's this elderly couple. Bailey's all freaking out, doing his waggle dance in front of them and I have no freaking clue who they are. So I'm like, Mom... and start to go meet the people. Justin's still sitting down and my mom's coming in from the dining room when these people realize *whoops* we just walked into a complete strangers house. Really. They mentioned the name of the people they *thought* lived here... I looked them up. The only person with that last name lives on a completely different street, in a completely different *city* Crazy old people and their senileness. (yes, I made that word up)

In LiveJournal, should you use the word 'Quickmask' the spell check program will tell you, no, you meant to say 'Cock-sucker.' I just find that funny.

I think learning Italian is cool. You spoke a little when we were all down there and it just sounded... nice. Which probably sounds really silly for me to say. My parents rented Under The Tuscan Sun and there were these little parts where I'd be like, 'Ooo! Oo! Whitney said that! Dude, Whitney can say that!' See? I'm spastic proud for *everybody* (who's awesome and totally deserving of it or a really cute dog named Bailey)

You guys so need to meet my dog. And my boyfriend. But my dog first. We have to have our priorities.

Eeeww! I phlegmed my computer.

My little hobbies: I'm still taking art lessons. I finished my first picture, have a very rough bit of my second and that's it. My teacher, Colleen, her daughter just had a baby (first baby of the new year) so I won't start up lessons again until February. I'm still trying to get my first portrait scanned because my scanner is ancient, it won't connect to my gorgeously fabulous laptop (I blame the scanner entirely) The second picture is actually my grandma, my mother's mother, when she was a very little girl. Not sure why I picked her since I'm not particularly close to her (called her a bitch once) or that whole side of the family, for that matter. But yeah. I wanted to do an old picture of someone I knew and that's one I had. And the bitch comment was warranted, trust me.
I'm taking tai chi. Did I ever tell you guys about that? I am, have been for... hmm... probably 8 months now. I really like it. Jim, the instructor, is great - my mom thinks he flirts with me, but he's just a nice guy. My mom seems to think a lot of guys flirt with me, it's very... awkward. I like it, though, and we're a third of the way through the form so I'm actually making some progress. Lots of postures to remember, but it should get easier (to remember) from here on in since we'll be repeating a lot. Unfortunately, I think last week (when I was sick) we started the 'cat postures' <- balancing on one leg with the other one up in the air like a kick, left hand does this, right hand does that, and you MUST RELAX. It's crazy.
I have no job (damn) no school (damn?) but I manage to do stuff. I do volunteer stuff for the church and I took training classes with Bailey, I've been driving (though obviously not enough *DAMN*) I've gotten absurdly tiny and seem to be the only one bothered by it. I tried that ProActiv stuff and it actually works (take that, evil acne brought on by migraine induced hormonal imbalance! HA!) I want a tattoo and a different hair color. And a couple more piercings, but the last one was such absolute crap that I'm starting to think I should do them all myself because I did a better job. Lord, I'm talkative. Piercings isn't a word? How do your pluralize it then? So confused.

And my braces come off in March! *SNAP*!! kissesandloveandhugs

Hello my beautiful ladies. I think about y'all quite often. I'm such a deusch bag that Iget scared to come on here and write. Not because y'all are scary, but because there's so much area, so much lost time to be covered. So I guess I'm not scared but rather just overwhelmed.

I had a pretty swell Christmas. New Year's was a big black cloud as always. Nothing in particular happened, I just hate New Year's. I thought about what y'all might be doing. Deb, probably partying like a maniac (incapacitated beyond belief and getting some booty) and Anna, living it up in Milwaukee with Justin (dealing with a drunk Dale and also getting some booty). Sure my assessment might cover some of it, or maybe not, but I wanna know what y'all's evenings were really like.

I can't remember if I said anything, but I'm not going back to Union this semester. I'm gonna attempt to go back next fall. I'm really scared about living without drive and direction for that long. I wasn't doing all that well with direction at Union anyway (missing classes), but I've got to get a handle on my life and my emotions. I know everything will never be perfect and I'm trying to understand that and respect the imperfections.

I'm still trying to work on my Italian. It's pretty difficult to do alone but it's still very fun. Lil' hobby I guess.

I miss Ty. He's all the way in Savannah, GA and I haven't seen him in almost a month now. I know it's not that long but it's just hard being away from my bubby (don't make fun :). How are y'all's families?

Oh yeah, is the snow wicked up there Anna. I've been watching the news, it seems really bad. I hope you and all your peeps are being careful.
How's school Deb? You're gonna be the only one riding out the college experience this semester so make us proud! haha
Have you and Damien reconciled?
I just wanna know the full blown skinny on what's up with y'all. So hopefully I will hear from y'all soon. Oh, and just in case I didn't give my new cell number, it's 731-676-4707.

I love you two so much! hugs kisses and tears....ciao.