Whitney came back :) Whitney came back and said wise and wonderful things :) Whitney rocks the freaking kasbah. Hard.

And for one strange second I thought you, Whitney, actually knew how to use html tags since your Thanksgiving Day post was bold. And then I said wait. Whitney. Bold. ... oh yeah! The thingy, she can just highlite, okay.

You confused me. Don't do that. I'm already perpetually confused as it is.

'But it's good that you guys talked. Talking is good. Talking helps. And if it doesn't....resort to violence. I mean, talking helps.'

I love that! It's so Whitney. It's so me. Great line. Point to the Whitterbug! *does the awesome kick-ass dance* The awesome kick-ass dance was made for the Whitney. It celebrates the Whitney in a way that only an awesome kick-ass dance can.

More later maybe. I need to go eat.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Happy Turkey Day my loves!!! Gobble Gobble and Stuff Your Faces!!!!!!!!!!

Just when I thought we were each hitting a dry spell on this bad boy the conversation starts up heavy and I miss everything.

The most pressing topic of discussion: Deb's baby
I can honestly say I'm proud of your moral and sensible view of not getting an abortion. It's beautiful that you've decided to have this baby, no matter how unexpected or inconvenient. My psychologist and I were talking the other day and she said she remembered a quote off her sons quote a day calendar. It read something like, "Life is not a destination, but yet a journey." I thought it was a beautiful thing and it really struck me in how I view my life, or actually how I should view my life, and other peoples. So what I'm really getting at here is, though it might not be the ideal situation to have this baby in your life, I believe that God obviously has a bigger plan for you than you know. Maybe you thought college is where you should be right now, and it might be, but you don't have to get discouraged. This baby is just the part of a long journey and it's a journey that Anna and I will definitely be there for. Through thick and thin. If I have to drive down to babysit the kid while you run to the store, go to job interviews, etc. I'm there yo. I love you Deb and everything's going to be fine. With Sarah being pregnant, it's definitely prepared me in advance, shock wise, for your news. Don't think I'm not shocked, heh, but I can handle it better. It's not a bad thing. It's a child. It's a beautiful thing.

Now Anna, very smart move on taking the blog down on your site. I never read it mainly because I haven't been doing my usual net rounds in a week or so. But it's good that you guys talked. Talking is good. Talking helps. And if it doesn't....resort to violence. I mean, talking helps.
I have faith that your journey will pan itself out the way it's supposed to be if you just step back, let go, and let the pieces fall where they may. Because you can't always do the right thing, you can't always say the right thing, and you'll never know what the right thing always is. So in relationships it's just one big chance and one big prayer. You deserve to have fun and ride it out. So you go girl! Shake it like Shanaynay! (I realize that was ridiculously unneccassary but I smiled for a brief moment so yeah, it was worth it)

I'm into the body art bondage. I mean *hehe* (inner porn star) bonding with each of us getting some body art. I dunno about me getting the ink though. Never been a fan of something you can't unscrew and detach or rub of with a wet rag and some Dial. But there are many more piercings that I want and I could definitely do it with you guys. I hope to gosh darn it.

I love you girls. XOXOXOXOXOXOXOXOXO
I miss ya'll.

I love you, too. I only hope that all of this works out for the best, you deserve that much. More, really, but fairness doesn't seem to count for much anymore. If you ever need me for anything, if you ever just want me, big or small, know that I'll be there for you. I promise.

Umm, I would never have wanted a baby before this, in fact, I think a baby is the last thing I would have wanted, but whats done is done and things could be a lot worse. Damien and I really love each other, we have our problems, but everyone does, we both have families that love us and I know that this baby will have the same. I think we'll be ok.

I am still very shocked. I mean, I'm still a kid myself, but this is the way it's happening. I've been really sick lately, but I'm talking to my doctor about possibly starting school in January anyway, I'm not due until the summer, so I'll be back home by then, it just depends on how well my body takes to being pregnant. Dr. Accardo told me that this is a very high risk pregnancy, because of the seizures, and the fact that I'm young, and have had so many problems in the last year. (the cancer cells and having to have them removed.) My stress level the last few years has also put a strain on my body, so losing the baby is something that I need to deal with just in case it happens. I have to be very careful what I eat, how much I sleep, how much work I do, etc.

I could never have an abortion...I just couldn't, and adoption...I know that I won't be able to go through almost 10 months of having it inside of me, then having it and being able to look at it, then give it away...It would never happen...so, Damien and I will do what we can.

He's been so perfect through all of this. He tries so hard to calm me, make me laugh, make sure I know that he loves me and that he's not going anywhere...it helps, but it's still weird. Tonight, he put his head down on my chest and started rubbing my stomach and talking to it. He was like, "Ok, son...you've been makin your mama really sick lately...be gentle, she's little, and she needs to rest to make sure that you're ok. She loves you already and so do I." And he kissed my belly, and kissed me and told me I was going to be a great mother. I know it's going to be very hard, and this is definitely not something I would have picked out for myself, but as of right now, I am very numb to it. He's been great, and he's actually getting very excited about it, but I'm just...there. I dont really feel much about it, because it's already done and there's nothing else to do about it...just be pregnant. I mean, like I said, I could never terminate it, or put it up for adoption, but it's just...weird, living for someone else to, and knowing that it'll be that way for the rest of my life.

It'll all be ok, Mama...and I thank you so much for everything and looking out for me. I really miss you, and I really really wish Whitty would stop by here, because I really miss her too. I love you both so much.

Is this a good thing? It's hard to tell, you sound - sound, I hate not being able to actually *hear* you, hear the tone and the inflection and see your face - you sound numb, like you're still in shock. I'm not sure I've got it right, that's why I'm saying something.

Do you *want* to have a baby? I don't know where you stand on abortion, or even adoption, but.. I hate not knowing what to say, the words just won't come to explain the feelings... Is this what you want? I mean, I know it wasn't planned or anything so you can't want a baby *that* bad, but... what about school? What about you?

I love you to itty bitty pieces and right now I just want to guard your interest, make sure you're taken care of since you tend to think about everybody else first, so bear with me if I sound pushy or overbearing or whatever. I just want what's best for you, *whatever's* best for you.

We have a baby...Damien is as excited as he can be, I guess...He's decided to go active in the Air Force.

We're gunna be ok.

I... don't know what to say. Where do we go from here?