Can I just take a moment and say that the title of this blog kicks ass? It does. Very fitting considering, ya know, us and how totally kick butt we are.

Ahh, my girls, my girls, my girls. I will blog dammit! I can do it! I have the power!

I think it's 'dammit' That's what I keep reading, anyway. Been doing a lot of reading lately, kind of nice so far. I started a book a couple days ago called The Hearing Trumpet. It started out okay, but by, like, page 15 the author went off the deep end and lost me completely, which is no small feet. I live in the deep end, I am the queen of the deep end, it's the only place I go. Losing me there is like... losing something in a place where it shouldn't get lost...

Nice to know all the academia hasn't fried my brain. Or refried. I'm not really sure at this point. I just don't want my brain turning into beans.

Deborah, yes, okay, Deborah. I like the poem. I already said that, uh duh, but I feel the need to say it again as I still like it and plan to continue to like it for many years to come.

Let the crazy, but hopefully constructive, criticism begin!

Beware of small children and flammable Ethiopians taughting chicken fingers.

Yes. The first stanza - ooo, look at the big word! hehe stanza - is different from the second two. I think. Really, I have no clue, but you said that and you wrote it so my money's on you actually knowing what the hell you're talking about. Woo. Long sentence. Fingers. Tired. Too. much. coordination.

Anywho -

My favorite part is the first through fourth lines of the last stanza - 'Confusion swallowing...'. 'Emptiness in perfect lies' just hits me right. I'm not even sure what it means, to me or to you, but it has this ring of truth to it. Actually, thinking now, very helpful, I can see what it means to me. I won't share that right now, but I'd like to know what it means to you, what this whole poem means to you. Where did it come from? Why did you write it? Why did you share it? Lots of questions on this one.

There are some problems with rhythm, which is completely understandable since inspiration hardly ever colors inside the lines. It doesn't have to be a perfect pattern of matching beats and rhyming, but there has to be some sort of flow to it, however unorthodox. The first line of the second stanza - 'Stupidity...' - is one of the biggest riffs in the rhythm. I like the line, it's a good line, all of them are, but it just doesn't fit right with all the other lines being so closely numbered, five, six, seven. That line's 10 syllables so it either needs to be shorter or something else needs to be longer. The difference makes it almost top heavy.

The last two lines of the last stanza are the same way. You could shorten them or you could write a whole new stanza at the end, maybe make it like the first one so it fits better. It's hard to sit here and critique this because I know how my head works when I write, it does just come out and that's that, which makes changing it difficult.

I'm not even sure you want the critique so if I'm out of line, bitch slap me back into place and we'll forget about it, okay? Okay.

Very good. Very.. I don't know the word, like you say something with big words and it flows instead of you just using big words. You know what I mean? It's hard to describe. I'll write more later, Justin's here.