I miss Whitney.

So's that mean I can just type up my hit list and e-mail it to you? Heh.. anything... No, if I had a hit list, I'd probably do it myself. More fun that way.

Nothing new, but god does it help hearing it come from you. You're making me smile. And tear up a bit, but in a good way. In a very good way.

You know what Dale says? He says I'm too good for our friends. That Adam and Justin and all the guys we hang around with, none of them are good enough for me. Because Adam likes me, he has his little Adam crush on me, which wouldn't be so bad except for the fact that Dale finds endless amusement in it. And Justin. Dale told him some stuff about me one night at a party and Justin was all, I never thought of her that way, but I do now.' And then Dale tells me today that it came back up and Dale laid down the law. He gave the whole 'you're not good enough for her' speech, and said that none of his friends are allowed to date me and I'm not allowed to date them. Justin was like, but really, out of all of our friends I'm the best, right? Dale was like, yeah... but you're still not good enough for her.

Lord, I love that boy. Don't know what I'd do without him. Don't know what I'd do without any of you, you guys have saved my sanity time and time again.

Justin also said I'm everything he looks for in a girl.

I don't like him. I don't want to be with him. But damn, it's nice to know that people still look at me like that, that they still think of me that way. I'm so into my whole 'I'm the nun' thing that it really is surprising to hear stuff like that. I was so sure and Dale laughed, and I'm starting to think that he was right in a way. Not that I couldn't go the next few years without a love life, not that I couldn't give it up, but that it couldn't give me up. So positively sure and now it looks like I was wrong after all. I'm just too lovable.

Heh.. it's nice to say that and not feel like a self-involved bitch. Because I'm not. I'm neither bitchy, nor self-involved, though I can be at times. Everybody's everything at times.

So yeah, that's the mantra. Love me like I love everybody else. Support me, believe in me, accept me, just do everything for myself that I do for my friends. If I manage to pull it off I'll be just fine. I'm looking forward to being fine, haven't been there in a good, long time. It'll be nice, just like going home.

I would do anything for you...no questions asked. You're my girl and theres nothing you could do or say to change that. You could have told me that you'd killed someone and I'd be like, hey, but I still love ya! lol. As far as cheating, I think, although you're not gunna like it, that you deserve to do that. You deserve to have little special things every now and then, because you're not just an every day, normal person, and you don't live an every-day, normal life. Not just because your sick, but because you're sick and you're not giving up, you're still you, all caring and wonderful and understanding. You're still Anna, you're still there for people and you still do anything you can muster to help people out and no one expects more of you than what you think you can handle. You have to answer to yourself and no one else so please try not to be so hard on yourself, Mama. You have all these people telling you how proud they are of you and all of these people that love you so much and you can't even let yourself accept that because you haven't done EVERYTHING in your power...but who does? Everyone can be better, everyone can do more, everyone could have put more effort into something or cared more, don't let yourself think less of you because you're no different. Please, Anna, listen to people when they tell you that they're proud and be proud too, smile when people tell you how great you are because it's true. We all love you, we all NEED you. I don't know where I'd be without you here to listen to me and give me some words of advice and/or love, I'd be so lost. Thank you for everything you've done and I know that you don't want to be different from everyone else, but you are. Not because you're sick, but because you're you. There's no one as good as you, as honest as you, or as beautiful of a person as you...remember that.

I love you!